8/22/2014

Awkward

It is currently 2am and I just feel completely awake, is that sort of weird?
I had like half a bag of chocolates, Cadbury Mini Drops to be exact and it was like sort of a bad decision, yet a good decision. I mean I put myself on a diet/healthier lifestyle and wanted to cheat a little because I was feeling deprived and after the grilled chicken McWrap (which was kinda good, but not WOW), I stuffed my face with a mini piglet mooncake (sounds gory but its just a piece of confectionery shaped like a pig, packaged in a pig basket/cage? Is that what they call it?).
Okay I got lost in my sentence.
Anyway dieting is all about portion control, blah blah and all that and i thought i could like eat one serving(22 pieces of that tiny pieces of chocolate) to be exact and then i ended up eating half a bag.
Well sorry not sorry.
This is actually good because you ain't supposed to feel sorry for overeating, i guess, unless you're on weight watchers or on The Biggest Loser.
I don't want to sound like "wow i'm so healthy i eat greens and shit"? Like aren't we supposed to eat our greens and be healthy and be at the peak of our health at this age(18-25)?
For me I'm just a girl trying to get a nicer looking body man. Its like in chinese they say "Only care that you once had(possessed) it, and nothing else matters" (lol bad translation sorry)
Like other girls I have bad body image, and the list goes on so why not solve this solution or i think i'll die and go up to heaven and like "lol i was fat my whole life". Be contented, yknow? I guess?
My life is one big uncertainty now and its a happy sad thing because the fact that anything can happen really interests me so I go one step at a time.
Like what if I suddenly wake up and someone gives me a call saying that i'm billionaire's daughter and I'm adopted by my current parents? YOU'LL NEVER KNOW
Stupid things aside i think i'll lose some weight and pick up some new skills (eg sewing, drawing, etc) and shit this holiday. The whole "I want my holiday to be enriching" but i think i'll end up hiding in my room with my laptop in the clothes i wore 5 days ago online shopping lol
And dear future me/other people, i'll probably read this and feel stupid but whatever. I do what I want.

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