Okay so yh just told me he's finding out that more and more of his friends are actually anorexic/suffering from anorexia, and it kind of saddens me.
Growing up learning about these disorders in Home Economics/Health Education lessons the first thing that came to my mind was "these people are crazy", "lol I'll never know anyone who get these" and it was very foreign, like what, these kinda things actually exist? Isn't food so delicious to override every single weirded out thought? I was 14 (not very young but not too old, either) and... yeah.
And then a few people I know from my school started getting these disorders.... It was kind of scary. Watching their lives get sucked out from their bodies like Dementors sucking out souls(I couldn't think of a better analogy) and yes, they were getting skinnier, but then they looked very lethargic always, like they had to work part-time to support themselves to come to school.
And contrary to popular belief, not all people who get eating disorders become skinnier. Not all become skinny, lose their hair. Not all anorexics/bulimics are dangerously underweight, or appear sad all the time. It is a mental illness.
You might disagree: only when its very serious then people are about to die and become like walking skeletons, then they need help. NO.
I personally know a few who are not skinny at all and they suffer from eating disorders and thankfully are recovering thanks to the help of friends, family, exercise(healthy kind).. etc.
Personally I grew up as a heavy kid, got teased at, ostracised at, etc... Just for being round. But I lead a happy life. It was not very bad until I gained ALOT of weight in Secondary School. Alot of stress, and literally most of the fast food restaurants can be found 15~20 minutes down my school. KFC, Macdonalds, Burger King, Wendy's, Long John Silvers, the list goes ON and ON.
Until one day I calculated my BMI and it was about 28.6(obese is at >30). Not gonna bother posting photos because I think almost the whole world has seen it.......
Lost quite a bit of weight and yeah I am who I am today! Throughout, it was not the, oh, eat less lose weight thing... It was more of a eat less, exercise, get period, eat like a mad cow, gain weight, then lose it back again. There were days where I thought I didn't need food. Days where I look at too much thinspo on tumblr and die a little inside because I thought I didn't need food and if I ate much lesser I'd probably look like that girl with a UK 4 body.
The problem is once one manages to lose weight it becomes like a... habit? A weird thing. That irrational fear of gaining weight because people want flat stomachs - strutting around Orchard Road in short shorts and crop tops and translucent chiffon shirts that flaunt that mid section that shows that you sacrificed something to get(this body). The centre of envy.
"Wow your abs!"
"What workouts are you doing?"
People often has this misconception that once you lose more weight, you get a very nice, Victoria Secret body. It is the worse, utter bullshit that has been said or thought.
Truth is, having abs/muscles to show is all about body fat composition. And losing weight not equals to losing fat. You might think, "but doesn't your body use the stored fat when you eat less and exercise more?"
True, but not true because your body DO USE THE MUSCLES AS WELL. And water weight.
Bringing on to my next point.
Well, you might think: I'll be happier if I lose another 5kg/if i could fit into a UK 6/etc. I need to eat less. So I can lose weight.
Truthfully, I've been doing that. Replacing my hunger with alot of water, skipping dinner, eating lesser, etc etc and I have been feeling like shit for a few months, until recently.
Because I was hungry, and cold. It was terrible. Now that the whole school is air conditioned, I often find myself piling on a windbreaker/jacket ON TOP of my knit sweater and still feel cold. It was the worse I have been through and why?
Because of metabolism. Visualise your body to be a.... train. If you feed it with food(coal), the furnace burns and the train is allowed to move. And when you don't, the train slows down, and because it still has to bring its passengers to another station, it burns lesser coal so that it could continue moving, though not as fast, but with a very little amount of coal.
The train captains would store more coal(food) whenever he is given coal for his train - your body stores the energy it is given as fat. And you become fat. Your body processes slow down, and your hypothalamus(this little pea thing in your brain which regulates hormones, body temperature) runs on low. Your body lowers its temperature(body uses up fat to burn temperature LITERALLY like the coal train engine theory) and bam. You'll never feel warm even though you put on ten layers of clothing and trust me. It feels like shit.
Now thats one reason to enjoy polishing off your plate and not leaving half saying "you can't finish it" although all you wanted was to eat less and lose weight.
Instead, exercise! Exercise releases endorphins (happy hormones), raises metabolism, improves overall health from heart to skin health(its true - my friends tell me my complexion improved) and exercise is a great time to bond/spend time with your friends or family.
Do something you love. Not something you do because you feel like a fat fuck although in truth you're just average sized, and everyone else is skinny.
STOP LOOKING AT THINSPO/THINSPIRATION. Browsing through tumblr, it is one of the most toxic type of posts you can see because everyone's body looks differently, works differently, and is built differently. You know that skinny friend that eats like a 5 year old just because her appetite is that small? Yes, thinspo photos are all about these kind of people.
STOP LOOKING AT TOO MUCH FITSPO EITHER. They can be motivating, but sometimes guilt trip you. Some pages are meant for professional weight lifters. "Stop eating so much junk and go to the gym now." No. You live your life as you want and a healthy mind is as equally important as a healthy(not skinny/muscular) body.
To people who are reading this and are suffering from an eating disorder: fuck the thigh gap lol I barely have a calf gap.... YOUR LEGS ARE NOT A GOAL POST FOR THE UPCOMING WORLD CUP SO WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU WANT A GAP IN BETWEEN YOUR LEGS? You are worth more than a thigh gap. Or skinny arms. Or poking collarbones or being a UK 6 or whatever. Don't go wanting to lose kilos because SOMEONE TOLD YOU TO DO SO. NO. You live your life. You're worth more than numbers on the scale.
Isn't it more impressive when you exercise, become more healthy, improve your fitness and people recognise your efforts?
"Omg you passed your NAPFA test?"
"Holy shit you can do pull ups? But you're a girl!?"
"He can do more push ups than his friends"
You are born with this body - its how you make use of it and love it, and how you bring out the best of it and instead of changing how you look, change how you feel. I'm heavier than most, if not all than my female friends and there's nothing really to be ashamed about.
Life is short and there are many more other things to worry about than weight.